Gravity works

Gravity Works
One of the hardest realities we have to face is that we are not above the rules that are set into the very structure of life. There are principles which no one can escape. Wisdom is being careful to live within the framework of these principles. Folly is when I believe; I can break the rules and use that to my advantage.
We seek happiness. Vice historically has been understood as the unhealthy, insane, and short road to happiness. Vices bring pleasure instantly. Surely, happiness will be found by maximizing pleasure. So as the vices produce pleasure, we feel that we will achieve being happy, and this leads us back to practice the vice once more. This cycle becomes addictive.
Vices have the ability to trigger the pleasure part of our brain easily and effectively. In this way of looking at things “vice” is cheap. But there is always a cost to vice. Addicts make bad spouses and parents. Over the long haul most vices take a toll on our bodies. If we devote ourselves to finding pleasure in all the wrong places we will normally find ourselves isolated, alone, and rejected as we face death.
But how else will we find happiness? If happiness is not found in “vice” then where is it found? Historically the answer to this question has been virtue. Virtue was understood as the healthy, sane, and long road to happiness. Virtue is living a life by figuring out what reality is and then adapting to it. It is striving to be free of illusion and denial.
The most significant transforming moment in a person’s life is when they lose faith in “Vice” and we come to believe that true and long lasting happiness will be found in living a life of virtue in accordance with the principles of life woven into the very fabric of our beings. We decide to not try to “cheat” at life to win but instead decide to strive within the confines of the “rules.”
We believe and accept that gravity works.

Merry Christmas for all the sad people

You may be feeling very sad today. It is OK to feel sad on Christmas eve. God is OK with that.

He understands how living in a broken world can cause sadness. He came to live with you in the broken world. To share in it and to know it on an intimate level. He understands being abused, rejected, slandered, neglected, and hated. He has cried about all those realities and He has suffered all those realities.

One of the wonderful realities of Christmas is that in the person of Messiah Jesus, God is now with us. He is not watching us from a safe distance in heaven. He came to be with us in our pain, sorrow, confusion, loss, and hurt. He embraces us in our brokenness. He is not ashamed to be in a relationship with us even though everything is dark and polluted in our lives. He touches us where we are.

So even as you feel sad this holiday. Understand that God is with you in your sorrow and understands your sadness. He is embracing you with unconditional love and is fully committed to never leaving you. Live in that reality.

Merry Christmas

Sanity 101

To say no to illusions is hard. Illusion often feel better than reality. But when one depends on an illusion to be real that is when the real pain comes. That is when we feel our worlds collapse.

For this reason one must have a commitment to the real world. To seek to know and accept what really exists and not the dreams that we would wish exist. We must have expectations based on what actually does exist.

Yet, we need to be careful to not limit reality. If we do we may never invent airplanes or computers. Sometimes our vision of what is real is far to small. There is greater potential in reality than some of us would ever dream.

So part of being sane is to open to all that is real and strive to discern what is from what is illusion. We must get rid of illusionarythinking and strive for realistic thinking. But we must in this process remember that reality has great God given potentials beyond what we would normally think. Therefore part of facing reality is to be creative and imaginative in our search for what actually exists.

Holiday happiness

How to deal with the holiday blues

1. Recognize that they will be over very soon

2. Remember that the people wishing you "Happy Holidays" really do for the most part want you to know happiness during this season. You may not be able to be happy but to have people wishing you blessing is never bad.

3. Take time to look at the cup half full. Make a list of what you do have. Keep yourself from denying the good that is in your life.

4. Choose to do one act of kindness for someone regardless of how you feel.

5. Give yourself the right to grieve your losses in the security that God embraces you in His love which is found in Messiah Jesus.

Remember: blessed are all those who mourn for they will be comforted.

Holiday Blues

How does one deal with the Holiday blues? To be depressed and disappointed when the rest of the world seems filled with joy and excitement is one of the most difficult experiences to have in our lives. Yet, every holiday there are tens of millions of people that find the holidays a difficult struggle and rejoice when they are over because they know that inwardly they are not filling happiness but instead sadness.

There are many reasons for the holiday blues. The holidays can force us to face the fact that we are in real financial trouble and cannot give the gifts we would like unless we want to add to our already over burdened credit card debt. For others this season is mixed with the loss of a loved one. Perhaps this Christmas will be the first one where that person is not around the table. Their loss is felt deeply and their contribution to the dynamics of the family is experienced. Sometimes the holidays force us to face the fact our family is split, divided, and alienated. We are alone not because of death but because of conflict. The New Year might just remind us that we enter it without any hope of our dreams being reached and the sense that our visions have died. We do not enter the new year with goals but with fear of losing what little we have left. All of these factors and many others can make the holidays a crisis of soul.

How do we fight the holiday blue? First to remember that the real message of the holidays is about God's undonditional love for us in the middle of our struggles. God did not come to seek the happy but the helpless in the Messiah Jesus. Therefore, if we are feeling hopeless and helpless we are the very ones for whom Messiah Jesus came. He said only the sick need Him. If we confess that our soul is sick then we are qualified to have Messiah Jesus give us some of His joy freely. Maybe we need to allow ourselves to really listen to the message of the Chirstmas carols. They are not about how life is great, they are about how God loves us in our difficult and struggling lives. How God has decided to forgive our failures and give us paridise as a gift paid for by the death of His Messiah Son Jesus. The Holidays are Holy Days because they remind us of good news intended for those who feel poor in spirit. Maybe those who are not confessing their spiritual poverty are really the ones out of touch with the spirit of the season. Maybe in our struggle and pain we are the ones most ready to hear the wonder of God's love and be touched by His grace.

Second, just decide to not be rushed or pressurred into doing more than your soul can take. Seek to have a meditative and quiet time. Seek fellowship with people who are safe. If you are emotionally fed by being alone then give yourself some thoughtful walks and take time to journal. If being around people helps you then most churches will be having events that allows you to have a spiritual family even if your physical family is not able to be with you.

Third this may be the time to find a counselor, coach, or spiritual director. Out of the ashes of the past you can decide to reframe and renew a search for answers. Out of the hope of the holidays you can decide to respond with new hope. If you need comfort for a loss, now is the time to begin a journey of healing and if despair had dominated your life, now is the time to seek hope. The holidays are a problem but they are also a potential.

I hope that you will feel the presence of the God who loves you more than your wildest dreams of God's love. Even if you are angry with God, He is loving you. God loves His enemies. He understands your pain better than anyone else. He understands you better than anyone else. He is inside your mind and heart. Your soul is naked before God. He embraces you in Christ. In that embrace is healing. Open your heart to that comforting embrace this holiday season.

What legacy will you leave?

On the one hand life is very unpredictable. On the other hand we know the book ends well. We were born and we will die. When we die we cannot take with us the power, fame, or success we gained.

We know that before death we will have days of joy and days of sadness. We will have days of health and days of sickness. For some of us we may face daily physical pain. For others we will have to be the friends and family of those who suffer. Life is tough. No one is ever beyond having their world rocked. As I hear and pray for Tiger Wood who would have predicted that his world was so fragile. Yet,all of our worlds are fragile.

This week a good friend died. He was a man of faith in Christ and left a legacy of eternal hope to his friends and family. He was a man who shared with me his wisdom, his love, and his support. I have rarely seen a man of such consistent character. He was a real inspiration to me.

Several years back he suddenly was diagnosed with a brain tumor. This would cause a huge change in his life and abilities. A man who had hardly ever been sick was now handicapped. His life which had reflected such success on every level was now shaken. Yet, his faith remained firm. He had peace in his hard journey. That was also an inspiration to me.

It is important that we have realistic expectations about life. It will be hard. it is always fragile. For Christians who believe in the life to come this reality is balanced with a promise that eternity will be greater than our best expectations. Faith in the God of grace allows us to rest in the idea that all the pain has purpose and will end in eternity, replaced by perfect pleasure forever. What we can do is take time to look for and find the positive realities that are also in life and know that our responses to difficult circumstances is the only legacy that will really last. Like my friend, his faithfulness under struggles, has left me more than any other gift he could have given me.

What legacy will you leave?

Seeking a postive attitude in a painful world

Everyone knows that positive thinking is better for us mentally, emotionally, and physically than being negative. There is real power in positive thinking. No one really doubts this.

The problem is how can one be positive when the facts of life seem so negative? How can one have a positive attitude when so many painful and disappointing events occur? Without losing touch with reality, how exactly can we keep a positive attitude?

To do this we must come to a deep conviction and insight about three ideas.

1. God has given meaning to our lives under all circumstances, even the most miserable ones.

2. There is purpose in all pain. Not one moment of suffering is unnecessary to fulfill our God given meaning and destiny. There was no way for us to achieve our end without suffering. Life is like pregnancy, it is a painful process but the end result is worth the discomfort.

3. We have the responsibility to interpret life from the perspective of faith that seeks to comprehend God's meaning and purpose for our lives in every event.


To have a positive attitude is not to deny the pain of our lives. It is to seek the silver lining in the storm clouds. It is to look for the half of the glass that is full while not denying the half that is empty. It is believing that even our failures and mistakes are ultimately not powerful enough to keep us from reaching God's original plan for our lives. It is trusting in God's purpose and plan and seeking to accept it by faith.

We must believe that God exists and that God rewards those who seek for HIM.

So can we develop a positive attitude in a painful world without denying the reality of pain and suffering. But it depends on us viewing the pain and suffering in a different light.

Rom 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

The 100% Rule

One of the first things we must work thru in our souls and minds is the idea that we are 100% responsible for our words, actions, and attitudes. We cannot blame what we say, what we do, or our general emotional health on our family, our spouse, our children, the government, our circumstances, or the culture. The one and only thing we have control over is ourselves.

Now we are not responsible for other people's words, actions, or attitudes. A friend of mine was deeply hurt by the rude actions and words of another. Part of that hurt was because they felt that they could have prevented the rudeness of this person if they had done better in some way. That if they had only done "better" they would be able to protected from people being rude to them. This is an illusion. No one is protected from the hurthful words, actions, and attitudes of others.

We also do not control circumstances of life. We cannot determine ahead of time that people will buy our product or respond to our sales pitch. We can plan for an emotionally bonding time with another person only to see our plan fail. Every goal must be held losely for they are never totally under our control.

However, what we do have control over is ourselves. We can decide to respond to the circumstances with either sane, stable, and spiritual words and actions or react in insane and unstable ways. Now a crazy reaction may be easier than a sane response. But we have the ability to choose between the two.

Now part of what we control is the story we tell about our circumstances. The story we tell ourselves helps us to determine what response seems reasonable to what we are experiencing. The following example is given by Viktor Frankl.


"Once, an elderly general practitioner consulted me because of his severe depression. He could not overcome the loss of his wife who had died two years before and whom he had loved above all else. Now how could I help him? What should I tell him? I refrained from telling him anything, but instead confronted him with a question, "What would have happened, Doctor, if you had died first, and your wife would have had to survive you?:" "Oh," he said, "for her this would have been terrible; how she would have suffered!" Whereupon I replied, "You see, Doctor, such a suffering has been spared her, and it is you who have spared her this suffering; but now, you have to pay for it by surviving and mourning her." He said no word but shook my hand and calmly left the office." (^ Frankl, Viktor (1959). Man's Search for Meaning. Boston, Massachusetts: Beacon Press. pp. 178-179. ISBN 0807014265)

We are not in control of when our loved ones will die. We are in control of how we will respond and interpret their death. We can decide to pray and seek to gain spiritual strength or we can decide to not pray in an act of self reliance or despair. These choices are not made by the circumstances but instead are made by us.

So while it can seem easier to blame all of our actions, words, and attitudes on others it really leaves us without any power. So while it is hard to have responsibility it is our primary freedom.

What is depression?

The other day I was thinking about depression. As one who has struggled with depression and one who has helped people struggle with the feelings of depression, the issue is one of interest and concern for me. Depression is a serious problem.

Now there is biological depression and psychological depression. These two can interact and impact each other. There are times when we need to seek medical help to overcome biological depression. What I am focused on today is psychological depression. It can create and increase biological depression in some people. So to overcome psychological depression can be a great help.

As I was thinking about depression it came to me that it reflects a total lack of motivation. I was reading some articles on motivation and one of the key things that motivates us is the belief that our competence and character will matter in what we achieve in life. When people or cultures come to believe that their competence and character do not matter and that their destiny are governed by "chance" or "luck" then their motivation to have great competence or praise worthy character declines. Helpless people lack motivation and are depressed.

The depressed person feels that their character and competence will not save them. They feel destined to defeat in what matter to them. So why get out of bed? Why put in the energy? Where does one find energy when one feels that the effort is hopeless? Depression is for many people the logical emotion for the prophecy they have set over their lives. When we are depressed we say to ourselves " I will lose" and therefore our motivation to run the race of life comes to an end. We stop running. Why try?

It is interesting in a race and especially a marathon that most of the runners know early on that they will not be the first one across the finish line. If the only definition of success was to finish first then all but two or three of the runners could just stop running at about the second mile. In fact most of the runners know that the odds of them winning the race by being "number one" are slight if not zero. Then why do they run? They have defined "success" as the act of running and this gives them an internal reward when they do their best. These runners run not to be the first across the finish line or to have their names in the paper. These people run because they see the value of running.

I think that to defeat depression we need to have a personal awakening in which we change the rules we live by and see the value of the journey of life. We need to see that being a person who has maximized their personal competence and character has its own intrinsic value regardless of what it produces in outward change of our circumstances. To strive for this goal to be our personal best is an on going process day by day. Winning it to try.

It does in fact matter to God that we reflect the character of Christ Jesus. He just wants us to try to follow the Messiah. God the Father will forgive us our failures and strengthen our hearts. We really are actors before an audience of one. Due to God's great grace in dying for our sins in the death of Messiah Jesus we are not accepted and adopted by God the Father. We receive a standing ovation from the heavenly Father when we strive to walk the life of faith. Regardless of the circumstances or the criticisms of other people, our striving to maximize our competence and character to give glory to Messiah Jesus for dying for our sins is appreciated by God and gives the heavenly Father joy. We are winning when as we strive to live sane, stable, and spiritual lives.

So to overcome depression we have to find a new source of motivation. The story we have been telling ourselves in which we define ourselves as losers has to be silenced. We have to find a new life story. A story that makes sense of our struggles. I would recommend the story of God's love in Jesus the Messiah. This true story above all others can heal the soul and help us in our fight against depression.

Processing hurtful conversations

We all have conversations with loved ones that leave us hurting. Sometimes it is very clear that we have been hurt because the conversation became very loud. At other times the hurt occur ed in the middle of a moment of emotional intimacy and the other person from our perspective threw in an emotional spear that pierced our souls. There are times when we know that the relationship has become fragile and we are walking on eggs, afraid we will break something, and feel like we did. In all of this normally our friend or family member is feeling the same dynamic. Lost to find a way to avoid getting hurt and feeling defensive enough to swing back at what they see as attacks from us. Add to this many times that our relationships have professional and organizational aspects and the complexity of relating become filled with fear, doubts, confusion, and if we are not careful; paranoia.

So when we have a conversation that hurts us what can we do?

1. Put the conversation in the context of the entire relationship. Are we justified in thinking the worst of this conversation or is this relationship really healthier than the conversation we just had? If a relationship is basically unhealthy then a painful conversation is to be expected and we should not be surprised. If a relationship is basically healthy then we should become overly negative and instead seek to interpret the words in the best light.

2. Can we without doing some additional harm to the relationship seek to express our pain to our friend and seek a resolution? Is there some way to make peace with our friend or family member? If not, then what keeps this from happening? This problem is really what has to be solved.

If we go to our friend it may help to write things out.

a. What actually was said that hurt me. Explain how you understood these words.
b. Explain what you felt in response to these words
c. Define how you would like to resolve the hurt of these words.

3. Seek God's comfort in prayer. God is our refuge and strength (Psalm 46). God loves us with an infinite love in Jesus the Messiah. While friends and family may at times abuse us and abandon us we are always secure in the love of our Lord (Romans 8:28-36). The Lord will comfort us and give us the strength to go forward if we seek help.

Being hurt in a conversation is a common thing. It is very easy for us to hurt one another with our words. It is important that we process such wounds since they can easily become areas of bitterness in our hearts and then lead to greater problems.

Hard to be human

To be in human relationships is hard. People do not normally relate well. To have safe, secure, and satisfying relationships is something we all want but few of us find. People hurt each other much easier in human relationships than nurture each other. Even when we want to be intimate in friendships and families we find that injure the very peoploe we try to love.

There is no silver bullet that can solve all this. There is so many dynamics that impact a relationship. Every person brings their past and pain with them into the current situation. We do not come in as bland slates. We come in needing security and feeling that only by having power and control that we can be safe. Each person has also a 'narrative" or story that they have been telling themselves about the other people and about themselves. This "narrative" creates the emotions which then frames how we understand each other. Many times we are not reading from the same script. It is like actors from different plays suddenly being put on the same stage to perform. Then there are those darker sides of our hearts. The deep evil that can poison everything we do unless carefully governed and monitered.

In the end all I can do is try to be sane, stable, and spiritual within my own soul and life. I can strive to think clearly, logically, realistically, fairly, objectively, and with empathy. I need to have humility to be sane. I need to know I don't know everything and that what others think and feel has value. I need to be able to stay in this space of sanity on a reguler basis. Avoiding radical actions and denials we stay in a place of mental and emotional balance as a life style. A critical part of this is to develop a real spirituality in which I dwell in the presence of God in Christ where I can receive comfort, forgiveness, strength, and wisdom. As I begin more and more to be sane, stable, and spiritual; then I can offer this to the other people in my life. At least my part of the relationship is not unhealthy. That is really all the control I have.

Now part of the truth of this is that this will not keep me from being crucified by others. At times this happens. But other times I find myself in fellowship with others who also are seeking to grow in sanity, stability, and spirituality. Then we become family.

Not judging the heart

1Ki 8:39 then hear in heaven your dwelling place and forgive and act and render to each whose heart you know, according to all his ways (for you, you only, know the hearts of all the children of mankind),
2Ch 6:30 then hear from heaven your dwelling place and forgive and render to each whose heart you know, according to all his ways, for you, you only, know the hearts of the children of mankind,
Jer 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? "I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds."
Mat 7:1-5 "Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
Act 1:24 And they prayed and said, "You, Lord, who know the hearts of all, show which one of these two you have chosen
1Co 2:11 For who knows a person's thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.
1Co 4:5 Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.
Eph 4:29-32 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Jas 4:11 Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?
1Pe 2:17 Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.



God alone knows the hearts of human beings. Because our hearts are deceitful our own self knowledge may be imperfect. Next to God, each of us has the greatest ability to know our own hearts and what motivates us in our words and actions. It is impossible however for anyone else to know what the thoughts and intentions of the heart of another person are unless they are self pronounced. When we judge the motives of people we take the place of God.
People are made in the image of God and therefore have dignity and deserve respect (1 Peter 2:17). Those in authority have been put in that position of authority by God and therefore deserve honor for being the one chosen by God to hold that position (Romans 13:1-5). We are to love other people even our enemies (Matthew 5:44). Part of loving another person is not to judge their motives but to give them the judgment of charity which is that we should believe the best motives for whatever they have done.
We live in a time when we do not know how to honor other people. We are not well trained in showing honor to authorities. We do not know how to disagree in an agreeable manner. We find it hard to season every word with grace, mercy, longsuffering, and patience. It is easy for our words to do great harm (James 3).
There is also the need of humility. We do need to judge ourselves and our own motives. We need to think more highly of others then we think of ourselves (Phil 2:3). We should be able to admit our own need to change and improve. We may even come to believe that others have something positive to teach us. It is possible that in the dialogue of ideas that we may actually grow if we do not assume we have all the answers before we begin.
We live in very polarized times. We see those who disagree with us as being “worthless” and “empty headed”, not recognizing that such judgments make us guilty of the sin of murder (Matthew 522). It is one thing to say we disagree with what a person says or does. We can and should judge an idea or action as wrong. But it is entirely different to curse one who is made is the image of God and fail to give them the respect and honor due them from God. When we do this we open up a dark door of vengeance and self righteousness which normally only leads to a growing escalation of abuse and eventually violence.
So let each of us each evaluate what we say and do in judging the motives of others. Let us strive to be peace makers in a world who has lost its taste for peace. Let us guard against gossip and speech which is cynical and belittling. Let us pray for those we disagree with and treat them with the respect that God has ordained we give to them. Then we will be salt and light in the world and a source of healing.

Principles of Sanity

Sanity is the ability to know the difference between reality and illusion.

The struggle is that at times sanity is very painful. It confronts us with painful truths. Death, sickness, rejection, abandonment, and abuse. We fear that seeking reality will kill us. We believe to survive we need to lie to ourselves and deny the truth.

But the illusions begin to have a cost. They begin to create more pain. We also find ourselves lost in our illusions. At some point we do not know who we are.

So we must make sure we see all of reality. The glass half full as well as half empty. Then reality becomes a comfort as well as a challenge. We must come to be content with what really is true. This gives us the sanity we need.

Seek Justice

Amos 5:6-7, 10-15
6 Seek the Lord and live, or he will break out against the house of Joseph like fire, and it will devour Bethel, with no one to quench it. 7 Ah, you that turn justice to wormwood, and bring righteousness to the ground!
10 They hate the one who reproves in the gate, and they abhor the one who speaks the truth. 11 Therefore because you trample on the poor and take from them levies of grain, you have built houses of hewn stone, but you shall not live in them; you have planted pleasant vineyards, but you shall not drink their wine. 12 For I know how many are your transgressions, and how great are your sins— you who afflict the righteous, who take a bribe, and push aside the needy in the gate. 13 Therefore the prudent will keep silent in such a time; for it is an evil time. 14 Seek good and not evil, that you may live; and so the Lord, the God of hosts, will be with you, just as you have said. 15 Hate evil and love good, and establish justice in the gate; it may be that the Lord, the God of hosts, will be gracious to the remnant of Joseph.
Literal - This chapter is part of a “funeral Dirge” a song of lament for the nation of Israel (Amos 5:1-2). This is a strong statement because the nation has not actually “died “yet. This piece of “prophetic drama” was purposely done to awaken the nation to its serious spiritual plight even as it enjoyed political and economic prosperity.
Amos was a contemporary of Isaiah, Micah, Jonah and Hosea. Under Jeroboam II (around 781 B.C.) the kingdom of Israel reached the zenith of its prosperity. The gap between rich and poor widened at this time and the rich were becoming richer by oppressing the poor, taking their land, and bribing the judicial system. Amos was called by God from his rural home in the Southern Kingdom to remind the rich and powerful of God's requirement for social and political justice (2:6-16). He claimed that religion that is not accompanied by right action is cursed by God (5:21ff.), and prophesied that the kingdom of Israel would be destroyed which occurred about sixty years after these prophecies were given (e.g. 5:1-2; 8:2).
Amos instead of saying “God bless Israel” actually said “God damn Israel unless she repent”. Perhaps Amos is called because Jonah has a hard time warning Israel of God’s condemnation due to her sins because of his love of Israel as a nation which leads to his desire to see her enemies destroyed even when God may have a redemptive plan.
This “funeral Dirge” was done at one of the centers of worship in Israel located at Bethel. It was the place where the king loved to worship and thank God for all the prosperity that had come upon the nations. It was where the state paid prophets would declare how God would prosper Israel and defeat her enemies. In the midst of this optimistic and positive environment comes Amos singing a song of death and mourning over a nation that has died, but simply does not know it yet.
Amos says that Israel must repent or die. They have turned “justice” into poison. Justice is to be the source of nourishment and life to a society. But here it has been turned into wormwood a bitter poison that only brings sickness and health. Righteousness has been knocked down and pushed out of the way. All of this has happened in the gate of the city where people where people were to go to find justice.
The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob was very concerned in what happened "in the gate" because it was the primary public arena for finding fairness, compassion, and social order in accord with the principles, personality and history of Yahweh and Yahweh’s people. The book of Moses reminded Israel that God "takes no bribe," "executes justice for the orphan and the widow," and "loves the strangers." Israel was to be a reflection of God's justice in its own life and social relationships (Deuteronomy 10:17-18). Their failure to do this was now bringing God’s judgment upon them.
The key problem here is that the poor have not been given equal justice. Their rights have not been upheld in the public square. The rich have been able to win in court and avoid punishment for their crimes while the poor have not been given fair trials. The rich have been able to manipulate the system to keep the poor from keeping their land and the truly impoverished have not been cared for with compassion. God is condemning Israel for her lack of social and political justice. The eternal creator of the universe cares that we demonstrate love for our neighbor by the establishment of a just social system. Failure to do this will bring about the end of that society and divine judgment upon them.
For believers our concern must be to know and define the nature of social and political justice. God is for justice. We are to be for justice. What is justice? What does it mean to have a just society? What actions in a society are seen as unjust and a failure to love our neighbor? How can the poor be oppressed by the rich in our society? How could the poor be protected? These are critical concerns for God. They need to also be critical concerns for us.
Christological: One of our hopes to see Christ return is that with that return perfect justice will reign over all the earth. Jesus the Messiah will bring an end to all oppression and unjust rule. He will establish perfect fairness in the governing of the earth.
Moral: We should hunger and thirst after righteousness and social justice. It should be a deep desire and need in our lives to see this fulfilled in our lives and our community.
Eternal: Rev 21:3-4 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."
Prayer: Help me to hate evil and love good. Grant me a heart and mind that understands and desires justice for the weak, poor, and oppressed.
Contemplation: Seek justice and love righteousness
Action: List areas of injustice in our community. What could you do to help restore justice? What are you doing that encourages injustice? What would Amos say to us today? How should you and I change?

New Seminars For Personal Growth

The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work

July 9th, 2009

ON TUESDAY - JULY 28 - AT 6:30 PM

Dr. Norman R. Wise, the director of Living Water Life Coaching and Counseling will be presenting the seven principles which make marriages work and practical advice in how to bring these principles into your marriage. Dr Wise will outline for couples the life principles that will make their marriage become restored and revived. This seminar is designed to give each couple a clear path to finding new and dynamic answers to the issues they face.

The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work Seminar will begin at 6:30 PM and end at 9:30 PM.

Call 954-452-4407 for more information and to register. The cost is $25 a person or $33 a couple. This could be the most important night you every invest in your making your marriage better!

New Anger Management Classes Beginning On July 14!

July 7th, 2009

Dr. Norman Wise will be teaching his course “Control Your Anger Before It Controls You!” on Tuesday Nights beginning on July 14th. If you know that your anger has been hurting your relationships and your life then now is the time to learn the tools needed to gain control and manage your anger effectively. This is a skill that can be learned and mastered by anyone regardless of thier background or biology. Call 954-452-4407 to register today.

Remember That The World Is Filled With Good Actions

The modern media has a tendency to focus on the negatives of life. Because of this we sometimes feel over come with a feeling that our existence is only one of crisis and pain. This is not the whole story. The reality is that the world is filled with actions of love, compassion, caring, encouragement, mentorship, compaionship, sacrifical giving, and thankfulness. All of these positive moments are easily lost. As we lose these events we also have a tendency to lose hope. It is good for us to remember all the good and noble events that occur. We can also see in all of these wonderful moments evidence of God since the Spirit of the Divine is seen in every good deed.

What is your story?

Every person tells themselves a story. This story comes from our real core beliefs and world view. This will be the large "philosophy" of our life. It may well be related to our religious faith and our deepest convictions. But as Jim Loehr points out in The Power of Story these life stories control our personal experience of our worlds.

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One of the unique things about human beings is that we tell stories. Put ten people around a camp fire and within minutes they will tell stories. Stories that are funny. Stories that are scary. Stories that are thoughtful. Stories of our life. We will gossip and philosophize. In these stories we share ourselves and our views. In these stories we find community and meaning. These narratives help us know how we should feel, react, and respond. They are the lens through which we interpret the world and ourselves.

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The circumstances of our life are mute. They do not tell us anything. We have a flat tire, lose a job, have a loved one die, or suffer great abuse from one we loved. These events do not tell us anything but we give meaning to these event by the stories we tell about them.

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For example, there was a man who was a minister who was being put into the gas chambers in WWII and just before he went in, he turned and said; "There is no God". This became his story about the gas chambers. Another man who ran an orphanage in the Warsaw Gettho had to deal with the horrible day when the Nazis came to take his orphaned Jewish children to the gas chambers. The Nazis said he could go. But he said no. He said "I must go with my children so that the will see that God does not abandon them". For this man the gas chambers was an opportunity to demonstrate the faithfulness of God even in times of great evil caused by evil men. They were the same gas chambers. They were mute. They did not tell a story. But different men told different stories and intrepreted them differently based on the narratives that really ruled their hearts.

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How can we figure out what our story is? We must listen to our undisciplined "self talk". That constant inner world of words that we speak to ourselves daily. That is our narration on our lives and on the world.

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Some of us will have formal, cultural, or religious stories that we may outwardly say our the story of our lives because it is expected of us to hold so particular group of values, but in reality in our inner core there is an entirely different story. This story we tell ourselves day by day and it is this story that rules our lives, our words, our actions, and our attitudes.

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We can also catch our story when we tell it in an unguarded way. Around that camp fire we tell our story. In an intimate conversation with a friend we express our tale. In the safe environment of a counselors office we spill our guts. Then we begin to tell about the events of our life interpreted by the script we have chosen and written to make sense of our life. Sometimes it is only when we tell our story that we know of what our story really consist.

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Out of our stories comes feelings of depression, hope, anxiety, confidence, anger or inner peace. These emotional states are not created by the mute events and circumstances of our life. They are created by the words we choose to interpret them and give them meaning.

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For Christian we should interpret the world through the light of the radical intervention of the creator God in the Jesus the Messiah. We should see in his incarnation, death, burial, and resurrection a foundation for hope in God's restoration of the world and healing of suffering and evil. In light of this story we should see the moments of our personal lives connected to and reflections of this large divine drama. Such an interpretation means that there is purpose in the pain and God has not abandoned us even when we suffer. (See Who Gets to Narrate the World?: Contending for the Christian Story in an Age of Rivals by Robert E. Webber for more details on this)

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So what is your story? Do you want to change it? Only when we change our stories can we change our moods. That part of our emotional state that is not dependent on our biology come out of the stories we use to interpret our lives. The good news is we can choose a different story that leads to a better mental and emotional state. Through directed "self talk" we can reinforce this new story and see over time a significant change in how we feel and how we live.

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So what do you think? Do you need a new story?

Thoughts about anger and peace

Sources of Deep Anger

I hate who I am
I hate the family I was born into
I hate my body
I feel stupid
I have always been alone and no one understands me
I can trust no one
People have hurt me so bad that I will never recover from it
I have no luck but bad luck
My mistakes have so wounded my life that I have no hope of winning
No one loves me
I have been betrayed by everyone I trusted
Memories of my past drive me insane inside
My parents abandoned me
My parents abused me
I was sexually abused and raped
When I tell people I was hurt they do not believe me
People blame me for when they hurt me
I feel that I have no hope of happiness
I feel trapped in addiction with no way out
I have been treated unfairly my entire life


Notes




















Outline of a peaceful life

1. Begin the day with a good night’s rest whenever possible
2. Start the day with prayer, positive self talk, and journaling
3. If possible exercise some and have a good breakfast
4. Look for the positive and good things of each day as you live it
5. If stress or conflicts arise look for ways to “pause” it and seek to communicate in a healthy way.
6. At lunch take one minute to pray and one minute to give yourself positive self talk
7. Look for positive and good things in the afternoon
8. If stress or conflicts arise look for ways to “pause” it and seek to communicate in a healthy way.
9. On your way home review the good things.
10. Before you get out or your car take a deep breath, pray, and give yourself positive self talk. Be prepared to help and meet the needs of your family\
11. Before you go to sleep try to find about 30 minutes to relax and do something nice for yourself
12. End the day with prayer, positive self talk, and journaling

Help for a proud person

The Reading


NLT Psalm 30:1 A psalm of David, sung at the dedication of the Temple. I will praise you, LORD, for you have rescued me. You refused to let my enemies triumph over me. 2 O LORD my God, I cried out to you for help, and you restored my health. 3 You brought me up from the grave, O LORD. You kept me from falling into the pit of death. 4 Sing to the LORD, all you godly ones! Praise his holy name. 5 His anger lasts for a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime! Weeping may go on all night, but joy comes with the morning. 6 When I was prosperous I said, "Nothing can stop me now!" 7 Your favor, O LORD, made me as secure as a mountain. Then you turned away from me, and I was shattered. 8 I cried out to you, O LORD. I begged the Lord for mercy, saying, 9 "What will you gain if I die, if I sink down into the grave? Can my dust praise you from the grave? Can it tell the world of your faithfulness? 10 Hear me, LORD, and have mercy on me. Help me, O LORD." 11 You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, 12 that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever!


In this psalm we find a simple pattern. The psalmist is in trouble, he prayed about it, and got a dramatic answer from God that saved him from his trouble, and now he is dedicated to praise and worship of God. This type of psalm can be found in several psalms such as 18, 34,,40,50,66,116, and 130. This psalm is very personal. It apparently is a psalm of David that was sung after his death at the dedication of the Temple under Solomon.

We find here a parallel structure that is the characteristic of Hebrew poetry. This type of poetic structure is called chiasm. Chiasm is a literary structure used in the Torah, the Bible, as well as in other works. Concepts or ideas are placed in a special symmetric order or pattern to emphasize them.

Vs. 1. I will praise you, LORD, for you have rescued me. You refused to let my enemies triumph over me

Vs. 11 & 12 11 You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, 12 that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever!

This psalm is one of thanksgiving and praise. The reason for that there was a time of loss and mourning only which God amazingly turned into a time of blessing and joy. It would be what we would feel if suddenly we found the stock market at 40,000 and our income doubled. It would be as if the war in Iraq was over and all terrorists had laid down their weapons. Or perhaps if every person in our family that was sick was suddenly made physically whole and also all our lost relatives trusted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. We would have reason to be thankful. We all have enemies. Either people or events can be opposed to our plans, hopes, and dreams. Imagine how you would feel if all your “enemies” were defeated and you had total victory over everything that was not as you desired in your life. Would that give you joy?


We see the parallel structure also work out as we compare vs. 2 with vs. 10.

. 2 O LORD my God, I cried out to you for help, and you restored my health.

10 Hear me, LORD, and have mercy on me. Help me, O LORD."

Here we find the simple, direct, and passionate prayer that brought about this great deliverance. It was a “cry for help”. The Hebrew suggests it was loud “shout” to the heavens for help. There was no incantation or magic here. This prayer was simply a desperate man of faith in desperate need.

The comparison of thought continues in verses 3 &9

. 3 You brought me up from the grave, O LORD. You kept me from falling into the pit of death8 4 Sing to the LORD, all you godly ones! Praise his holy name.


8 I cried out to you, O LORD. I begged the Lord for mercy, saying,, 9 "What will you gain if I die, if I sink down into the grave? Can my dust praise you from the grave? Can it tell the world of your faithfulness?

The Old Testament people of God had less revelation about the after life than we have in the New Testament. The term “grave” here is SHEOL in which it appears that the person who died was in a shadowy existence in the inner parts of the earth. It appears the psalmist may have feared that he was lost and would be cut of from God forever. In SHEOL the psalmist would be cut off from God and unable to praise God for his faithfulness. What profit did God gain from having the psalmist die in sin and defeat? Compare this with Psalm 23 in which an afterlife of great joy is envisioned.

Here the psalmist is recalling his prayer for deliverance and how it came about. It reflects the fear of being lost and the joy of being saved.

The structured comparison of thought continues in verses 5 and 7.

5 His anger lasts for a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime! Weeping may go on all night, but joy comes with the morning

7 Your favor, O LORD, made me as secure as a mountain. Then you turned away from me, and I was shattered

These verses point out how fragile we are. Today we have the favor of God in what we do. We become proud and look at our success as coming from our own hands. God who gave us success can remove it in a moment. Our lives can be shattered because we stand by grace alone. Yet, when we humble ourselves in prayer the LORD is able to bring back our joy as quickly as it was taken away.

In the movie “God of War” which portrays the beginning of the civil war they have Stone Wall Jackson who had been victorious and unstoppable be humbled at the death of a little girl with whom he had made friends. Despite the best efforts of his personal surgeons the young girl died. As he reflects on her death he says “Everything is so fragile”. This is the insight that the psalmist is sharing as well.

The focal point and center of this psalm is verse 6.

6. When I was prosperous I said, "Nothing can stop me now!"

Here was the fault of the psalmist. The LORD’s favor had made him wildly successful. He seemed to be an unstoppable force. In the midst of his success he lost his daily humble dependence on the LORD and felt that he had things under control. The LORD resists the proud and helps the humble. We are all fragile, only dust, and need the breathe of God upon us to give us life and fruitfulness. Without the LORD we can do nothing.

What do we do when we cry out to the LORD in our defeat and desperation and the LORD does not deliver us or our loved ones from destruction and defeat? Can we trust the LORD in the dark of defeat, disease, and death? Can we wait for the victory of eternity to give us joy? This is yet another dimension of faith that has to be faced.


Christological - NLT Romans 5:6 When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners.


Moral - Never take success as something you are “due” or have “earned” it is by grace alone. It was given by grace and will only be maintained by grace. Run from pride and turn to the LORD in humble and needy faith.


Eternal - The promise of eternal life in Jesus Christ has allowed us who believe to never have to fear being cut off from God in SHEOL. Praise be the LORD.


Prayer - LORD HELP!


Contemplation - I resist the proud; but give grace to the humble.


Action: Pray for help and pray to be humble. Look inward to see if you have pride.

How to express your anger in a healthy way

The Process of Healthy Expression of Anger by Dr. Norman R. Wise[1]

Goal: Learning to Express My Anger in a Mature Adult Manner & how to handle other people when they express their anger in an immature manner.

FOUNDATION: I want to use my anger in a mature and healthy way and do not want to abuse or be abused by anyone else. I value being healthy more than I value winning in the short term.

Step One: Know Your Anger & Keep Your Cool

1. Catch yourself at the early stages of Anger – BUILD AN INTERNAL RADAR.

If your anger would rate on a scale from 1-3 you’re irritated and need to take a pause to gain focus and control. THIS IS THE BEST TIME TO CONTROL AND GUIDE YOUR ANGER.

If your anger would rate on a scale from 4-6 you’re mad and in danger of thinking illogically and acting impulsively. STOP! GET TO A REST ROOM – WALK OUTSIDE – DO NOT CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION OR INTERACTION. BAD THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET WORST.

If your anger would rate on a scale from 7 to 10 it means you are in a rage. There is great danger that you will hurt yourself or others physically, verbally, emotionally, sexually, or religiously. STOP! STOP! STOP! – CALL YOUR SPONSER- DRIVE TO A CHURCH AND PRAY-GO TO A STARBUCKS- GET OUT OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES AND END WHATEVER IS MOTIVATING YOU TO CHOOSE TO GET ANGRY. STOP! STOP! STOP!


II. Keep yourself from reacting immediately in anger and give yourself time to think and relax. Few situations require immediate and thoughtless action or words. Slow down your reaction time. Spontaneous expression of anger is normally destructive and abusive.

III. Analyze your anger – Perhaps keep an anger journal to use to process your anger

Who or what has made you angry? What are my triggers?
Is this an issue over which you want to lose your cool and need to lose your cool for the good of everyone?
What is behind the anger? Is it frustration, fear, confusion, or a sense of needing to right an injustice
Is the intensity of your anger consistent with the cause of your anger? Are you angrier than the circumstances are justifying? What could be the reason for this?



IV. Give yourself three options and consider the short term and long term consequences of each.

Options
Short Term
Long Term
Let it pass – Love covers a multitude of sins – Not worth the energy and time. In prayer give it over to God to make right.


Respond with a forceful, elevated, but controlled anger
- The aim here is to stop abuse for everyone and gain a space where better solutions can be found.


Walk away to pause, process, and plan a response. Organize a safe and secure way to communicate your pain and the reason you were angry with the person who triggered it. In prayer ask for wisdom on how to express your hurt. Seek wise counsel if the issue is very difficult and complex.




V. Now respond in what you have considered to be the long term good of you and the other person. Respond as a reasonable, mature, and controlled adult. Be your most mature self in this situation.

VI. Remember that you acting as a mature adult does not control the other person. Each person is 100% responsible for how they speak and act. You may properly respond to this hurtful situation and the other person may continue to act in an abusive manner and even attack you for being healthy and mature. Do not allow the other person to tempt you to relapse into an abusive expression of anger. You win to the degree you act in a sane, stable, and spiritual manner regardless of how the other person reacts.

VII. Reward yourself for acting as a mature adult and expressing your anger in a healthy manner.

[1] This material is copyrighted and can only be used with the permission of the author. All rights are reserved.

How to express your anger in a healthy way

The Process of Healthy Expression of Anger by Dr. Norman R. Wise[1]

Goal: Learning to Express My Anger in a Mature Adult Manner & how to handle other people when they express their anger in an immature manner.

FOUNDATION: I want to use my anger in a mature and healthy way and do not want to abuse or be abused by anyone else. I value being healthy more than I value winning in the short term.

Step One: Know Your Anger & Keep Your Cool

1. Catch yourself at the early stages of Anger – BUILD AN INTERNAL RADAR.

If your anger would rate on a scale from 1-3 you’re irritated and need to take a pause to gain focus and control. THIS IS THE BEST TIME TO CONTROL AND GUIDE YOUR ANGER.

If your anger would rate on a scale from 4-6 you’re mad and in danger of thinking illogically and acting impulsively. STOP! GET TO A REST ROOM – WALK OUTSIDE – DO NOT CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION OR INTERACTION. BAD THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET WORST.

If your anger would rate on a scale from 7 to 10 it means you are in a rage. There is great danger that you will hurt yourself or others physically, verbally, emotionally, sexually, or religiously. STOP! STOP! STOP! – CALL YOUR SPONSER- DRIVE TO A CHURCH AND PRAY-GO TO A STARBUCKS- GET OUT OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES AND END WHATEVER IS MOTIVATING YOU TO CHOOSE TO GET ANGRY. STOP! STOP! STOP!


II. Keep yourself from reacting immediately in anger and give yourself time to think and relax. Few situations require immediate and thoughtless action or words. Slow down your reaction time. Spontaneous expression of anger is normally destructive and abusive.

III. Analyze your anger – Perhaps keep an anger journal to use to process your anger

Who or what has made you angry? What are my triggers?
Is this an issue over which you want to lose your cool and need to lose your cool for the good of everyone?
What is behind the anger? Is it frustration, fear, confusion, or a sense of needing to right an injustice
Is the intensity of your anger consistent with the cause of your anger? Are you angrier than the circumstances are justifying? What could be the reason for this?



IV. Give yourself three options and consider the short term and long term consequences of each.

Options
Short Term
Long Term
Let it pass – Love covers a multitude of sins – Not worth the energy and time. In prayer give it over to God to make right.


Respond with a forceful, elevated, but controlled anger
- The aim here is to stop abuse for everyone and gain a space where better solutions can be found.


Walk away to pause, process, and plan a response. Organize a safe and secure way to communicate your pain and the reason you were angry with the person who triggered it. In prayer ask for wisdom on how to express your hurt. Seek wise counsel if the issue is very difficult and complex.




V. Now respond in what you have considered to be the long term good of you and the other person. Respond as a reasonable, mature, and controlled adult. Be your most mature self in this situation.

VI. Remember that you acting as a mature adult does not control the other person. Each person is 100% responsible for how they speak and act. You may properly respond to this hurtful situation and the other person may continue to act in an abusive manner and even attack you for being healthy and mature. Do not allow the other person to tempt you to relapse into an abusive expression of anger. You win to the degree you act in a sane, stable, and spiritual manner regardless of how the other person reacts.

VII. Reward yourself for acting as a mature adult and expressing your anger in a healthy manner.

[1] This material is copyrighted and can only be used with the permission of the author. All rights are reserved.